Controversy, as such

Last night I won an award, a very prestigious award voted for by at least three people in my church (who also happened to be the originators of said award) for The Most Controversial Blogger of the Year (I think this pertains to members of our congregation, not the worldwide web, per se).  The nominees were a list of three of the other four people in our church that have blogs.  As it happens, ironically, the only paid writer in our church, who is the fourth blogger with a very good blog actually, never received a mention.  (Ouch.)  But that’s just the way life is.  See, my blog is so controversial and the cookie crumbled very agreeably in these reputable, non-disputed proceedings which aren't fixed at all. 

Look, in all honesty I have no idea why it’s thought of as controversial, as such.  Perhaps they were thinking conventional, conversational, contradictory, or confusing?  But then I thought about it and I verily, almost certainly believe controversial is an apt, if not genius, description.  You see, there are many, many reasons to merit this saying; many, many reasons indeed.  I mean there could be at least one reason, I think.  If you look carefully, and apply your mind, and consider cautiously, you may find some merit for debate, which of course is the disputed conundrum at hand, the question of questionability, or controversy, as such. 

Case in point, just look at the way I start my sentences, even paragraphs, with But and And.  Who can argue with that, I ask in all objectiveness?  The answer is of course everyone.  I mean it’s recreational recklessness in the form of grammatical outrage.  And for what?  I feel whenever someone asks the question, “for what?”, the answer should be For The Joy Set Before Us.  Like for what shall we endure such literary lethargy?  But that’s just it friends!  Don’t you see it?  My writing has produced much controversy on the subject of whether this really is a good blog or not, or even good writing, thinking, being...?  Why is this blog even here? 

And that’s the beauty of it.  My blog inspires considerable debate in the minds of people who are confused, as am I, about all these here valid questions.  People are questioning my grammar, my thoughts, my ideas, my sentence construction, the purpose of the point, the point of the purpose, and all this questioning makes them question their own lives.  Not only do they argue with one another (I like to think in vicious office fights where colleagues secretly empty each other’s’ staplers and hide the paperclips and other such corporate malice), but, more gratifyingly, they argue with themselves; implosions.  Who can stand such undefined, questionable, breaks-all-the-rules, unsupervised writing?  It’s an inner struggle of the soul; love of reading vs momentary interlude due to boredom at the office. 

In conclusion, I think we can all agree that the judges were merely pointing out the obvious by recognising me as the Most Controversial Blogger of the Year, causing the most severe controversies in the soul of every reader who so happen to stumble upon this work of debatable genius. 

You’re welcome.